I have just returned home to South Africa after working in various foreign countries for the last 15 Years.

I did this at the request of the South African Government, who have an initiative called the “homecoming revolution” that is designed to encourage skilled South Africans to return home. Many skilled South Africans left the country as a result of a fear of an ANC government or because of the Affirmative Action policy that was initially poorly administered and that ensured that white South Africans were overlooked for jobs, thus causing an exodus of these people to countries that offered good employment opportunities.

Anyway, the initiative did encourage myself and my wife to return home (along with the global recession, we intended to return home in 2012 anyway).

On my last assignment in the U.A.E. I bought a Softail Custom (or rather my wife got it for my birthday) and I spent a fortune getting my bike as I wanted her. She has Arlen Ness wheels, a lovely Alligator skin seat from Christine LePera, Porker exhausts and many other changes including a chrome front end, she is fondly known as “Eish” (This is a South African expression of wonder).

I shipped her from Abu Dhabi to Johannesburg where the Customs department held on to her for over 4 months, using various excuses such as “they have not had time to check the frame number”. This dillitory behaviour by the customs people cost me $1,000 in storage fees; thankfully this was reimbursed to me by my company who I understand will recover the money from the taxpayer through the initiative I recently mentioned.

Having had the elation of getting my bike I then tried to register her with the traffic authorities, what a mission this is proving to be……
I got the Customs clearance papers showing that I paid my Customs Duty and taxes and that stated the bike could now be registered.

I got the Letter of Acceptance from our Beureau of Standards stating that the bike conformed to South African traffic requirements and could be registered.

I had the original receipt showing that the bike was paid for and owned by me.

I received clearance from the South African Police confirming that the bike was not stolen and could be registered.

I got Interpol clearance stating that the bike was not stolen from the country of export.

All the documents necessary to register the bike were in my possession………

The local registering authority told me I need to provide them with the original registration documents from the U.A.E.

Why? I asked

Because we need them they said.

I patiently explained that in order to obtain an export permit in the U.A.E. the authorities there require that all the original registration documents have to be surrendered.

Where is the export permit they asked?

Why? I asked

Because we need them they said.

I explained that the export permit was given to my export agent who then gave it to the U.A.E. Customs officials in order to export the bike.

Then we can’t register your bike they said.

So, after nearly 7 months of trying I am riding an unregistered bike, the local authority is not getting revenue from my licence and registration fees and no one is winning.

I am hoping to be arrested for my crime so that I can sub-poena the Minister of Roads and let him explain to the Judge why he has failed to register my bike.

My friends tell me that in their opinion the local authorities are deliberately making my life difficult and that if I offer money that these problems will go away and my bike will magically get registered.

What do you think, is this Beuracracy gone mad or is some petty official trying to make some extra money?

P.S. I hope all my American Brother and Sister Bikers have a great Independence Day.